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The Ultimate Guide on becoming your best self

It would be stupid of me to even raise this question whether you wish to be your best self because seriously who won’t!! Becoming your best self means inviting and opening the door to the higher version of yourself which indirectly refers to living the next level of life.

But let’s get real here, we are so pro at giving advice to everyone whenever they’re in trouble or when they just wish to upgrade the quality of their life. Do we really peep within and realize our own truths? Are we actually following what we actively preach?

This is some intense inner work we need to do in order to better ourselves and be our best version. But as you’re already here and reading, I would take this moment to appreciate you for taking this step and moving towards your magnetic self. The new journey awaits you.

Working on ourselves is a continuous process and it indeed cannot happen overnight. While writing this, I totally admit that I too am a work in progress and I’m still on the journey of being my best self. However, in this journey of the past six months of discovering myself and finding my best version, I learned and unlearned so much more than I thought.

My journey on becoming my best self – a reflection

Having money or seeking luxury is a totally different thing which cannot be possible if you fail to find peace and joy in your achievements.

You may be seeking your best self to fulfill your dreams or creating the life you may live fully but know that this journey will be full of truths and learning. Besides, you will definitely need to be patient and kind on yourself during this path.

I clearly remember how desperate I was when I started my journey of self-discovery. I was so hard on myself and was constantly seeking quick outcomes. In this process, I forgot to truly honor myself and give myself permission to work on my pace.

But as I started practicing self-improvement, I realized that this was my journey and it was okay to not figure it out all yet. This took so much pressure of performance off my shoulder and I simply focussed on doing things on the day at a time.

I was super inspired by all the work that helped me be where I am today and I couldn’t resist from sharing everything that helped me reach here.

Becoming your best self is a lifelong journey. There isn’t a particular start or end to it, as you’re here now I would highly recommend starting this journey of being your best-self NOW.

Let’s quickly hop onto the quick guide on being your best self. ( you may need a coffee, I made this a detailed one!!)

becoming your best self

The complete guide on becoming your best self

So, here are the 13 stepping stones that helped me find and discover my truest, greatest self. I am so thrilled to share this journey with you.

1. Work on your mindset

Whenever I’m falsely indulged in some negativity, I quickly ask myself, ‘What the higher version, the better me would think about this situation?’. This single question changes my perspective.

When I started this journey of becoming a better version of myself, I read a lot on mindset shift as the key to living the life you want. I then began to closely monitor my thoughts and notice the patterns.


It’s truly said that our mind creates our reality and if we really want to live our best life, we need to conquer our mind. Everything is created inside our minds before it can actually become a real thing.

If we always have the habit of thinking negative and blaming ourselves or luck for everything that happened, it surely will create negative vibrations.

We attract what we think. Negative thoughts exist and it indeed is difficult to replace them. But when you change your mindset and work on it, you start seeing positive things around you. Things that seemed complicated now could feel doable. Trick your mind to work for you and not otherwise.

Bring clarity and let go of negativity – this will help you change your mindset to finally become your best self.

Here’re some tips on improving your mindset:

  1. Start practicing gratitude
  2. Read more of what opens your mind
  3. Stop complaining
  4. Look deeper
  5. Bring clarity by re-defining your goals

Here’s the inspiring read that will help you have a better mindset.

2. Fall in love with yourself

Guess, you would be finding everyone talking about self-love lately. Self-love isn’t just a trend, it’s something we need the most.

It’s undeniable that love is the strongest force in this entire universe. Imagine loving yourself as a kind mother, a best friend, a die-hard lover, or a precious child!! Your life will totally be different when you shower yourself the love you have for others.

Bring yourself flowers, take yourself on a solo date, get those solo movie tickets, do everything that brings you joy and peace. Self-love isn’t selfish as long as it doesn’t harm others. Everything that you have been doing for someone else, try it for yourself and you will be surprised to see the change.

Self-love also means telling no to everything that isn’t good for you, taking care of your mind, body, and soul, nourishing yourself even when everyone else fails. It’s indeed some or a lot of hard work, but you do deserve it.

The path of becoming your best self isn’t always smooth, you need to sow some seeds now to reap the fruits later. Love yourself actively and you will grow radiant, lighting up the world around you and hence creating a “win-win” for all you encounter.

Here’s how you can practice self-love without being selfish.

3. Cultivate self-forgiveness

We all have done things that we regret now. However, clinging onto past and expecting present to work out isn’t very mindful.

You need to forgive yourself for everything that happened to you in the past. When you’re on the journey of becoming your best self, your best version, you need to leave these past things behind. And the only way to do this is by forgiving yourself.

becoming your best self

You are just a human and being a human we are all prone to doing mistakes. Instead of getting stuck and blaming yourself, practice self-forgiveness. You totally deserve this.

When I was in the job that ruined my mental health, I used to beat myself up for not finding the way out. I realized this later that I was doing the best I could at that time and I forgive myself for that phase. This will take so much burden off your shoulder and you can finally move forward.

Here’s how you can practice self-forgiveness.

4. Live authentically

Nothing beats the ideology of living an authentic life. In this fast-paced world, we have masked our reality just to fit in. People on social media make us feel insecure of our lives and we find this as a reason to hide our true selves. It takes courage to be vulnerable, raw, and authentic.

Living as the best version of yourself will demand authenticity. You cannot just fake yourself just to gain fame. It indeed takes a long time to be comfortable in your own skin, do not ever let that go.

Always remember, you are marvelous just the way you are. You surely cannot be your best self when you fail at being yourself.

Darling, you can one life and if you spend living it like someone else, when are you even going to live!!

5. Embark on the journey of self-discovery

It was only when I started to discover myself and my path that I finally found the way to become my best self. The journey of self-discovery doesn’t come with a handy manual. It all depends on the inner work that you do and yes that’s the tough work.

While embarking on the journey of self-discovery, you will know your values, the truths that you believe in, and the harsh things that you would have to unlearn. But this is so very necessary when you are so firm about becoming your best self.

Sit down and write about what you believe in, figure out who you are and the values that you would live by being your best self.

Read more about discovering yourself here.

6. CALM your mind

Being mindful even when things go wrong is indeed a sign of a calm mind. The world outside is filled with chaos and noises, the only thing that can bring you back in your consciousness is your calmness. When your mind is calm, you will be able to think better and accordingly act better.

Your best self needs you to do this. Observe your thoughts, notice where they linger, and eventually bring them back if that’s not the place you would enjoy. Our mind is our greatest assets and becoming your best self will definitely envision peace and clarity.

This all comes when your mind is filtered from the outer noise. I really had a hard time stopping my racing thoughts to get better sleep. But when I practiced calming down my mind, things changed.

Here’s how you can calm your mind:

  1. Practice meditation
  2. Start mindful journaling
  3. Learn to be mindful
  4. Enjoy the present moment
  5. Practice letting go
  6. Try out yoga
  7. Learn breathing exercises

You may also like to read this piece on calming your mind and bringing peace.

7. Silence your inner critic

When you are on the journey of becoming your best self, your inner critic will pop-up and will create a web of self-doubt around you.

Learn to silence your inner critic that says you are not enough or you just can’t do it. This little nagging voice inside your head will always leave you astray and the only way to silence this voice is by practicing self-love.

Create self-compassion instead of sabotaging yourself, bring self-love instead of hating your every move. Tell your inner critic that your love for self is higher than these nags and you are so more than everything it tells you. The best version of yourself will not listen to this inner voice that continuously brings you down. Do not let it bully you.

8. Practice radical self-care

Self-care isn’t only about having hot bubble baths ( though they totally make you feel relaxed), it’s about nourishing your soul, body, and mind. Treat yourself as a sacred vessel and do everything to fill it up. Just like self-love, self-care isn’t selfish too.

You cannot expect to help others when you yourself are feeling low. It’s like you cannot pour from an empty cup. Take care of your body and fill it with nutrition, honor it, and listen to its need. It is okay to take a break and be unproductive if that fuels your mind and body.

Always remember, you can only be your best self when your mind and body are in harmony. Bring more love, care, and peace within and see how you magically grow. Create a morning self-care routine and do one thing every day that nourishes your mind, body, and soul.

Embrace yourself and fuel your body with nutrition, physical movement, replenishing sleep, and pampering. Let your self-care practice be self-love in action.

Here are 51 self-care ideas for a bad day. ( and my free self-care planner)

9. Be kind to yourself

All your life you had been super rough on yourself, now is the time to invite self-compassion. Being kind to yourself is what makes you generous even to others.

What I mean by kindness is to stop being hard on yourself. Sometimes, things don’t work out the way we want and all we end is beating ourselves hard for that. Practicing kindness will help you accept your mistakes without getting furious on yourself.

While becoming your best self, you need to learn to be kind to others too. We all suffer from some or other thing and we really have no idea what’s happening in someone’s life. Instead of being mean or rude, try showing kindness. It’s in the kindness that we can truly save humanity.

Do some random acts of kindness like leaving beautiful notes or compliment a total stranger. It’s good to be nice and it indeed says so much about you.

10. Create Atomic habits

The secret to becoming our best self lies in our daily habits. Every successful person in this world reached at the top-notch because of their disciplined rituals and atomic habits.

When I started this journey of becoming my better version, I was highly influenced by this book and since then I started cultivating healthy habits. Having a miracle morning routine was something that helped me set the right tone for the rest of the day.

It changed my mindset, helped me create a positive attitude and outlook towards life. When you are becoming your best self, you need some healthy habits that help you grow.

Create a morning and evening routine while inculcating your daily habits. These morning habits helped me a lot to know myself and be my best self.

Here’s the guide on creating a miracle morning routine that helps you kickstart your day.

11. Always know your ‘WHY’

Sometimes, we fail to complete a certain task or our goals because we lack motive. When you know the reason behind becoming your best self, you will always be motivated to stay on track. Go down deep and find out the ‘fire’, the strong desire that makes you do everything you want. This fire will always light up your path when things get hard and you’re on the verge of giving up.

Next thing, write down your ‘WHY’ with some dark sharpie pens ( Ohh boi!! I love them) on the blank sheet and stick it somewhere you can always see. Maybe on your vision board or right in front of your beautiful office desk.

Keep reminding yourself of the reason behind your journey and let it fuel you, always.

12. Invest in yourself

Upgrading your knowledge and skills is the crucial step in becoming your best self. I firmly believe that there’s no other alternative to growing other than educating yourself. Look out for the courses that help you with your skills or read those books that upgrade your learning.

To be a better version of yourself you need to keep learning, keep growing. While starting this blog, I literally had zero knowledge about it but when I started investing in courses and upgrading my knowledge, I discover a whole new world out there.

I also am a huge book hoarder and you will always find me reading two to three books simultaneously. I’m also going to leave a few book recommendations for you below. Do not be scared of taking a leap of faith when it comes to education, everything will pay off itself back.

Grab a new class, learn a new skill, create your own hobby blog – start doing everything that you had been putting off.

13. Create a life you adore

Well, this is the whole aim behind becoming your best self. You got to create the life you love, you adore. I know how it feels waking up in the morning and getting ready for the job you hate. It feels like a robotic life. I had been there!! But when I decided to stop taking crap about what others think, I started creating my dream life.

Build your own life on your own terms. Figure out what you love the most, what brings in joy and peace, and start doing more of that. Create a life that you would be thankful for. When we love our lives, we are magnetic for that great relationship, dream job, deep healing, or financial breakthrough.

The journey of becoming your best self isn’t always simple or smooth. But it’s so damn rewarding. I really urge you to take some actionable steps today and start creating the life you always dreamt of. My darling, we live only once, let’s make this legendary.

Here are some quotes on becoming your best self that always fills me with hope.

How to become your best self – inspiring quotes:

  •  “The goal is not to be better than the other man, but your previous self.” — The Dalai Lama
  • “Never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick to start from scratch once again.” — Bikram Choudhury
  • “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” — Maya Angelou
  • “Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.” — Deepak Chopra
  • “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy.” — Norman Vincent Peale
  •  “No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.” — Madonna

These words behold great power and I’m so sure that they will always motivate you to outdo yourself. Being on this journey of becoming a better you will demand everything but patience and I hope you honor yourself enough to keep going.

These were the thirteen things that helped me find my best version, you may resonate with a few of them or maybe all.

However, I strongly urge you to do the work, even the smallest step counts. I would also love to hear from you about your journey to become your best self. What are some of the above tips resonate with you?

I would also be honored to stay connected and send you tips and mindful emails on living your best life. You can sign up here to receive the emails.

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  • Jeffery

    August 2, 2020 at 8:14 pm
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    Authenticity is a very huge one! Being yourself will help you find out who likes you for the real you and who does not. […] Read MoreAuthenticity is a very huge one! Being yourself will help you find out who likes you for the real you and who does not. It's also more relaxing because you don't feel the need to put up and keep a fasad going. Amazing post!!! Read Less

  • Julianne

    August 2, 2020 at 5:13 pm
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    I love that you include “read more of what opens your mind.” Reading is one of my favourite things to do and it’s because […] Read MoreI love that you include “read more of what opens your mind.” Reading is one of my favourite things to do and it’s because it exposes me to so many thoughts and ideas. Amazing! Read Less

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About Me
I’m Sonia from Gujarat, India – an author, mental health advocate, blogger and a lifelong dreamer. – the writer of this blog and an author of the poetry book ‘Silent Defiance’. Read More

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