The complete guide for beginners on loving self

I know what you would actually be thinking, ‘Yet another post on self-love and self-care stuff ‘ and believe me while scrolling Instagram, I find daily so many posts on practicing self-love, poems on self-love, various arts on self-love and what not. But this isn’t the cheesy self-love tips post or all beautiful – Insta-worthy stuff on self-care either. Here is a detailed beginner’s guide on self-love ( The A to Z)

Self-love is such a popular term nowadays that you find every other person talking about how they are practicing self-love or asking you if you love yourself enough. But in the real sense, it is so much more than just a term or something that can be carved in few lines.

self-love for beginners

Self-love is a dedicated ritual, a daily, consistent practice that you gift yourself for yourself. There is so much more to self-love than just having a bubble bath or making everything around pretty. Let’s get real, life is difficult and it gets tougher at times.

Sometimes we lose all the hope and have nowhere to go. We start doubting our worth and questioning everything we do.

We actually put ourselves inside this big question mark whether this life is actually worth living. And that is when its the high time to take a step back and know our true self.

self-love for beginners

I had been at this very place where I used to be hard on myself and it was tough for me to practice letting go. I knew I was going in the maze of self-doubt and I won’t be able to come out if I didn’t take in charge of my life.

This is when I started practicing self-love and today I am going to walk you through the exact same steps that I used to cultivate self-love and practice it every single day.

Writing this blog post is also the simplest act of self-love that I gifted myself by finding what my soul actually needed.

Let’s first understand what loving yourself actually means.

What actually is self-love?

I love this quote by Oscar Wilde on self-love, ‘To love yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

Self-love is being self-aware and dedicating yourself to all the love that you have deep within. Self-love is a ritual that needs consistent practice and utmost dedication.

It is about accepting ourselves the way we are and honoring our growth. Self-love cultivates from the appreciation, the respect we have for ourselves when we are struggling.

It is not about feeling good all the time but it is about being beside yourself even during the storm. Self-love is taking responsibility for your well-being; nourishing your mind, body, and soul.

Self-love is creating boundaries when it gets enough and you are overwhelmed. It is about practicing ‘no’ when you need to instead of a deliberate yes just because it would please people.

Self-love is taking care of your mind, body, and soul. Being mindful of what you are intaking and consuming. It is about giving yourself the present moment, the attention that you deserve.

Self-love is about forgiving yourself and learning that you are a normal human who can make a mistake. It is about giving a chance of improvement to yourself.

Self-love is about the willingness to let go of everything that no longer serves you. It is about making free space for yourself by not holding things that break you. It is about saving yourself from hurt.

Self-love is about bringing calm amidst chaos just because you deserve peace. It is about giving up every battle if that harms your mental peace.

Self-love is so much more than just loving yourself. It is about honoring, accepting, respecting your existence. It is about being kind to yourself more and more every single day.

I strongly believe in the power of self-love and that it can totally change you and your life. I am listing down some amazing self-love books that changed my life. ( Note that I post only if it is worth)

It indeed takes time to practice all the mentioned things and I won’t say that I have mastered them all. I too am a flawed human like you who is always riding her journey of self-love through all the bumps that life throws at me. But in the end, it is always so worth it.

I know you would be overwhelmed and will be having so many questions like how do you practice it all, where do you start from.

Here is how journaling helped me on my self-love journey.

The only answer to this is, take it one day at a time. Take small, teeny tiny steps and always remember that growth is different for all.

Start with any two above mentioned practices and don’t forget to be kind to yourself throughout this lifelong journey. Yes, you read it right. Self-love is a lifelong journey and it is always so rewarding.

Why loving yourself is so difficult?

I get this question every time I post a poem or quote on Instagram regarding self-love. I never told you it would be easy, but it indeed would be always worth and life-changing.

The main reason behind not being able to love yourself back is that we don’t consider ourselves worthy enough of or love. We easily shower our love onto others but when it comes to rendering the same love to our own self, we lack it.


We just don’t feel enough of deserving the love and kindness for ourselves that we readily give to others. Take a moment and place your hand on your heart and remind yourself that you are worthy of receiving all your love, that you deserve all the kindness and respect from yourself.

That you are more than enough and you don’t need any reason to question why you need self-love. Forgive yourself today and start loving yourself though a simple tiny act.

This may be going on a walk because you need it, having a healthy breakfast because your body deserves it, reading mindful books to nourish your mind, or simply rewarding yourself with rest because you have had enough.

Here is this amazing piece of creating a self-love toolkit.

While practicing self-love we are sometimes confused about what self-love shouldn’t be. Let’s dive into that now:

What self-love isn’t?

Self-love isn’t ;

   1. Being egoistic

Self-love isn’t about being obsessed with yourself and just talking about the stuff that matters to you. You do not have to be egoistic to practice self-love.

    2.  Being selfish.

It actually is setting the boundaries and putting yourself first but never at the cost of hurting someone else. When you love yourself, you tend to spread more love to others.

   3. Thinking you are better than everyone else.

It actually is about realizing that this isn’t any competition. We are all on a different journey and at a different pace. Self-love teachers to honor your journey without comparing it with someone else’s.

    4. Not caring about others

Self-love doesn’t make you selfish. When you take care of yourself, you fill yourself and you are able to give more to others.

  5. Not being kind to others.

Practicing self-love helps you to practice kindness to yourself and others. You become aware of how nice it feels to be kind to yourself and so you want to make others feel that way too.

  6. Loving yourself only when things are easy and good.

Self-love is about embracing yourself throughout your hard times and holding yourself every time you break. It is not about being there when it is actually super easy and comfortable.

Self-love made me realize so many things about myself. This practice of having unconditional love for self dragged me from the darkest tunnel towards that little ray of shine. I still won’t say it was easy, no it wasn’t but every day you need to make a choice.

You need to choose yourself every time again and again until it is engraved in your heart and mind. You totally deserve this, especially during rough times. We long for love from every other human but failed to shower it to our own selves.

Take this as a ritual and gift yourself all the love you have within. I really wish that self-love should be engraved as our mother tongue and that every single human on this planet should know its worth, their worth, the importance of their very existence.

You, my dearest are super special miraculous humans and let not anyone make you feel less about yourself. Let your love for self be the shield that protects you from every hurt.

I really hope that I have convinced you for starting up with this self-love practice and honor your growth.

There is nothing in this world that makes me happier than being able to help you on your journey of self-love. I would totally love to hear your stories about the self-love journey and how you are practicing it.

Do let me know in the comments what self-love is to you. I would love to be a part of your journey.


  1. 7 actionable steps for total mindset detox - Soothe Thy Soul

    May 18, 2020 at 10:57 pm

    […] Read my article on why self-love isn’t being selfish. […]

  2. Nyxie

    May 21, 2020 at 2:23 pm

    Excellent post. I really enjoyed reading this. I’ve been working on my self-love lately and trying to find a place where I’m content. I may never be happy but I can be okay with myself and that’s better than I’ve ever been.

  3. Jess | Self Love Circle

    May 21, 2020 at 2:36 pm

    This is such a great, detailed post! Really helpful for anyone getting started with self-love.

  4. Anna

    May 21, 2020 at 3:35 pm

    Very important stuff! I think when person doesn’t love her/himself, he/she will never be able to truly love someone else. But not everybody realize that. Thanks for sharing!


    May 21, 2020 at 4:32 pm

    Really a good article on self improvement. I have learned a lot on self loving myself. Thanks.

  6. Samantha DeCosmo

    May 21, 2020 at 6:20 pm

    So important! Thank you for sharing!

  7. Brenda

    May 21, 2020 at 7:02 pm

    Hi it’s Brenda from RubyHemMinistries.com You’ve made a lot of great points here. Thanks for sharing!

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    May 24, 2020 at 12:19 pm

    […] we need is self-love, kindness, self-compassion, empathy but in no case do we need to fix […]

  9. Nicholas

    May 30, 2020 at 8:30 am

    Loving yourself is so important and makes life so much better when you do. Thank you 🙂

  10. MommyASKK

    June 1, 2020 at 12:19 am

    Beautiful post. I know as a mom I feel guilty about my time to myself but I also know if I don’t get it, I can not give what I need to give. It’s a hard balance. I love the line “self love is the willingness to let go of everything that no longer serves you.”

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  12. Jaime Duke

    August 7, 2020 at 6:52 pm

    Absolutely love this! What a great reminder!

  13. Morgan

    August 7, 2020 at 6:59 pm

    Love this! Such a good starting point, and I like that it specifies what Self-Love is NOT as well as what it is!

  14. Ruth

    August 7, 2020 at 7:47 pm

    Great post! I especially love to section on ‘what self-love isn’t’ 🙂

  15. Annie

    August 7, 2020 at 11:14 pm

    Self-love sounds so simple but it’s actually really challenging for some people (like me). Great post!

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