Re-parenting yourself and healing your inner child
Re-parenting your inner child requires patience and persistence. It indeed is hard work but at the same time, the rewards are glorious. When you re-parent your inner child, you heal it by practicing self-love and self-care devotedly with patience.
There are the ways we also dreamed to be loved and taken care of. This emotional support may not be provided to all of us in our childhood as much as we needed it badly. Re-parenting your inner child will heal you through this absence of emotional support that we faced while growing up.
If you’re someone who had a tough time growing up, this article is for you. We are going to discuss in detail all about how to re-parent and heal your inner child and be there for yourself just as a parent would.
What does it mean to re-parent yourself?
Re-parenting yourself is an act of providing care and emotional support to yourself just as you would do to a small child. Consider yourself a 10-12-year-old kid that requires unconditional love support to grow, through re-parenting you’re assuring yourself to provide all the emotional support that wasn’t gifted to you in your childhood.
Our inner child is an innocent being who is not aware of the trauma that he/she would have faced during childhood. We may have passed through some emotional or mental abuse as a child which would have created a great impact on my minds and we continued carrying it in the future too.
Maybe your parents were emotionally or physically absent while you were growing up or all you saw was poverty and verbal abuse during your childhood.
Such children often stop growing mentally because it becomes too much for them to take into their little minds and heart. But when they grow up, they experience similar kinds of pain that were left unaddressed since their childhood.
They follow the same patterns and behaviors while stepping into adulthood. For example, if they grew up witnessing mental torture or emotional abuse from their parents, they are more likely to manifest the same in their later stages of life.
These things are so ingrained in our inner child’s mind and heart that they need re-programming. This reprogramming work for ourselves is what is called ‘Re-parenting your inner child’.
What is healing your inner child?
Your inner child is someone who you were and still are from your childhood. The beliefs that you were taught from the early years of your life still has a great impact on the decisions that you make as an adult.
Some of us are taught to be silent and comfortable with everything that life throws at us while others have learned the art of pleasing people as the way of living their life. These patterns are all so well fitted in our young brains and we are programmed to believe in its truth.
Our inner child is someone who accepted everything without questioning or arguing because we were so incapable of doing so at such a tender age. Due to this, we face a lot many mental and emotional crises as we grow older, but this is the time our inner child needs to be seen and heard.
Reparenting your inner child will heal your deep wounds of childhood which may not be known unless something major event occurs in our life. We cannot always blame our parents for that though they are equally responsible.
They were unconscious beings who were just following the traits that they were taught. They never had the courage or strength to break the chain and be mindful of the present scenario.
However, this doesn’t mean that we should close the chapter of our childhood and live life just as unconscious as our parents led. We can and must take this responsibility to heal our inner child by being kind, humble, and generous to our little heart. There is no right time to begin healing your inner child than now.
How to re-parent your inner child?
Re-parenting your inner child is super simple but it totally requires lots of patience and efforts ( just as you would need with a child)
Consider yourself as a parent of an innocent, little child inside you who is terrified of whatever past gifted him/her, now being a parent it’s your responsibility to nurture that lonely child with all the love and care. I often call this as mothering yourself which I practice in my journaling sessions.
You don’t have to be an expert to heal your inner child, but asking for help does no harm. You can always contact the professional therapists for free here. Let’s get into re-parenting your inner child:
1. Start putting yourself first
All these times you always thought of everyone else before you now is the time to actually put yourself first. Do not get me wrong, this isn’t being selfish at all. Your inner child needs you and as a parent, you should be putting him/her before everything else. This is what re-parenting yourself is all about.
As long as you’re not hurting anyone, it is okay to be a little selfish. Grab that extra pie or willing allow yourself to accept the offer when everyone is giving you a chance to take it. Do a little something for your inner child too.
Take your inner child on a date and do everything that makes you jump with joy. Here are some products that may inspire you to try up a new skill that your inner child would love to do.
You see, this little child of yours may never demand huge things, it’s these little things that we long for most since our childhood. Give yourself the pleasure and kindness that you always wanted to receive as a child. Re-parenting yourself is all about going the extra mile to see your inner child happy and fulfilled.
2. Take care of yourself, genuinely
Imagine, how you always wanted your parents to take you to care when you were a kiddo. Now bless yourself with the same care. You don’t have to go back and remember all those terrible things that you had to face as a child. This phase of your needs pampering and all sorts of love. Also, taking care of your inner child can be saying no to everything that makes you feel less.
You can heal you, inner child, by protecting it from everything that causes harm, physically, emotionally, and mentally. You can always be safe when you’re with yourself.
Re-parenting yourself is a gift, another golden chance to help yourself evolve into the person you always wanted to be. Your inner child will always look up to you for security and safety. Do not ever let him/her down, not his time again.
Here’s how you can take care of yourself on bad mental health days.
3. Be more ‘alive’ at the moment
Our parents failed to render us emotional support that we always needed because they weren’t aware of the happenings, they were not really in the moment. When you practice mindfulness, you become aware of what’s happening around and within.
You can feel true joy and peace when you’re in the moment. When we are children, we don’t really worry about the future, this is when we are completely in the present and so fully cherishing the gift of ‘NOW’. Recreate this joy and peace for your inner child, let it live in the present moment, and enjoy the joy of being alive. This is how reporting yourself can heal your inner child by bringing peace and calm to your soul.
There is no anxiety when you’re present. No worries. No feelings of sadness. Only presence.
4. Let go of judgments and be you
All through our childhood, we had always been taught to follow certain rules and to behave in certain ways. This made us people-pleaser and we easily fell into the trap of judging ourselves. When you re-parent yourself, you allow yourself to be you, to enjoy the joy of being authentic and true to yourself.
Your inner child needs to here that it is okay to do certain things in a different manner and that you’re not going to judge him/her. Be compassionate and allow your inner child to explore its identity without trapping it into some box. There’s no truer pleasure than being yourself in this whole world.
Re-parenting yourself will give you the chance to be you again without any fear of judgment. My journaling space is my non-judgemental zone and that’s where I practice re-parenting my inner child.
5. Take some wise decision for your inner child
Being your own parent, you now know what’s best for your inner child. Learn to refuse everything, including people and places that numbs your growth.
You need to make some wise decisions at every point of your life for your inner child. Is someone asking to do you something that you aren’t called for or you don’t have your heart and soul into it? You can gladly deny that now.
You need to understand what’s good for your inner child and tell no to everything else. I know, it may take some time but in the end just ask yourself if it makes you happy and brings peace, go for it. You are no longer the slave of someone’s wishes and dreams. It’s okay to say ‘no’ and end the relations that are harming you and your growth. You are better off them.
The thing is, we all may not have received the same warmth and love from our parents during our early phases, but that doesn’t mean you should close that chapter.
Deep down you will always find those wounds yelling for help and it’s your duty to reach out to your inner child’s voice. Re-parenting your inner child is a life-long work and it is okay to proceed at your own pace.
I really hope that this article will evoke you for representing yourself and healing your inner child. Trust me, we all need one. Please drop your views on Re-parenting yourself in the comments.
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ChandraJuly 3, 2020 at 5:35 pm
As adults and often as parents, we forget we were kids ourselves. We often miss to show that love and care towards ourselves as we do to our kids. Thanks for the reminder. lovely post!
KimberlieJuly 3, 2020 at 6:01 pm
In one of my masters courses in education we talked about reparenting and read a book that both traumatized and helped me, A Boy Called It. It has impacted the way I relate to students and my attempts to be kinder to myself and loved ones.
Josie D.July 3, 2020 at 6:21 pm
Reparenting your inner child is important. I didn’t even know I had to do this until something major happened to me last year. I was always people pleasing and putting others first all of the time. Now I move differently and make decisions that are healthy and safe for me first. Thanks for sharing xxx
KieJuly 3, 2020 at 7:32 pm
Another beautifully written post! It’s so easy to forget that even as adults we still need the same gentle love and affection that we needed back then. It’s such an important self-love principle that I think we should all try and remember more x
AnithaJuly 3, 2020 at 7:37 pm
That was a really good one. Enjoyed reading it.
Manju SMJuly 3, 2020 at 8:51 pm
Amazing post. Reparenting ourself. I just loved how you have brought attention to a vital topic. Beautiful post
AnnieJuly 3, 2020 at 11:31 pm
This is such an important and valuable post! Thank you for it!
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