How to overcome low self-worth and start feeling worthy
Overcoming low self-worth is an inner-work that requires conscious efforts and I’m so glad you chose to do this work.
Do you ever feel excited about the new task, running a new business, bringing some new change but all of a sudden you are taken aback by the inner voice that says; ‘You are just not worthy of this work’? I have felt this so many times where this little voice in me always questions my worth every time I’m about to do something out of my comfort zone.
This squeaky inner voice is doing nothing but trying to protect us from the unknown by telling us different stories. You may have had some past experiences that made you believe you’re not worthy, maybe your childhood was traumatic or your caregivers never made you feel quite enough. It can also be due to bullying or some events in your life that developed the story around your worth.
For me it was bullying, I was bullied in high school which really made me feel low and lose my worth. Every time I try to do something new, these past incidents refresh the stories of how unworthy I am.
However, it’s totally in our hands to take a stand and work on this. You can re-write your story and overcome this feeling of low self-worth. This is what I’m trying consistently to do in my journal. I make myself believe how truly magical I am and that I am worthy of everything I desire.
What is self-worth?
Self-worth is an opinion we have about ourselves. This is something we believe true for us based on various past experiences. When we feel good about ourselves, we tend to have higher self-worth and it makes us feel super confident.
While on the other side, when you fail to honor yourself, you start feeling bad for your kind and it spreads the dull energy all around. This makes you believe that you’re not worthy of achieving your dreams or for doing something that your heart yells to do.
Can you imagine how scary it is to not be able to live your one single life to its fullest just because your inner voice keeps telling you that you’re not worthy? Thus, it’s much needed to work on this and overcome the feeling of low self-worth. You, my darling are worthy of everything magic and you’re created for the same.
What causes low self-worth?
There can be various reasons and most of the time it’s our childhood stories that our parents, teachers, or friends have told us about ourselves.
Everyone had some opinion about us and these opinions may at times project the feeling of low self-worth. People say both; positive and negative things about us but it’s the negative talks that stay with us. Especially if you’re a people pleaser, it would have been super difficult to put yourself out there.
Also, at times we fail to live up to someone’s expectations or of ourselves which made us believe that we are not enough. This feeling of low self-worth is deeply rooted and it’s much needed to work on it.
How does low self-worth affect us?
Low self-worth makes us believe that we are not quite enough for anything we do. Whether it’s some simple task or something you do for your dreams, it builds up different stories in our heads and makes us believe that it’s just not possible for us to do that thing.
I personally never showed up on social media because of the beliefs I had for myself. I had to overcome this feeling of low self-worth to put myself out there and interact with my wonderful audience.
Having low self-worth affects our mental and emotional health. When you don’t feel worthy, you don’t gather the courage to ask for help, you cannot just say ‘no’ to someone, you cannot come out of your cocoon and actually live your dream life. You start avoiding things instead of facing them and this creates some serious issues in life which lead to anxiety, stress, and depression.
However, it’s not impossible to start again. You can totally build up the strength and overcome low self-worth. This work requires courage and most importantly permission. So tell me, are you giving yourself the permission to honor your worth and live your best life?
Here’re some helpful tips to overcome low self-worth:
1. Stop trying to be a people pleaser
It’s necessary to understand that you cannot impress everyone and nor ask for their validation all the time. This will simply make you feel exhausted and you will never be able to find your true self. So, instead of trying to please everyone, try finding your true, authentic self and shine in your truth. Those who are intimidated by your shine are all allowed to change their path.
It’s totally human to seek validation but this is crushing your self-worth because you’re always looking for external approval and trying to behave in a way that they accept you. I can understand, being raw and vulnerable is not easy but you cannot just pretend to be someone just to be liked. You’re simply not born for that. I truly believe that each one of us is incarnated for some higher purpose and it’s your job to find that calling.
2. Build a deeper inner connection
As we discussed, the stories of low self-worth are deeply rooted and you can only uproot them from the core if you know yourself well. In order to know the true you, you need to build a deeper inner connection. When you know your worth and stand in your light, it’s totally impossible to shake you.
I have been using journaling in order to discover myself and find my purpose. This sacred art has been so helpful in making me believe in myself and build a deeper inner connection. So, whenever something bothers me, I pour everything on paper and my inner wisdom guides me to find the divine path.
Be kind and gentle to yourself as it’s so easy to beat ourselves when we don’t live up to certain expectations. Know that, you’re just a human being who is allowed to make mistakes and these things don’t ever define your worth. Your worth is who you are and nothing else even matters.
3. Acknowledge and challenge negative thoughts
Recall that little squeaky voice inside your head telling you’re not enough. Those are your negative thoughts that keep rising on the surface making you doubt your worth. Oftentimes, we don’t realize this voice, these negative thoughts and it’s really crucial to acknowledge them. Let’s be real, we cannot remain positive or in a high state all the time, however, we can surely make some shifts and challenge our negative thoughts.
Do this today, be aware of your thoughts, and whenever you find yourself getting down into the spirals of negativity; just tell yourself to stop and question them. What made you think so? What are the underlying stories you have been telling yourself? Why do you think you’re not worthy?
When you ponder and challenge your negative thoughts, you will find the core reason. The path to overcoming low self-worth is not always easy. This is the daily commitment you make with yourself to honor your kind.
4. Learn to say ‘no’ whenever you mean it
There are times when we’re not able to do certain things but we say ‘yes’ to all those activities just because we don’t wish to hurt someone’s feelings or we are afraid of letting them down. Because of this, we accept the tasks that we’re not willing or ready to do and as a result, we do it with the least interest i-e half-heartedly. The results then make you unhappy and you’re satisfied because you think you didn’t do it well.
This has happened to me so many times when I was working in the school. I used to take up so much work because saying no wasn’t the option and back then, I didn’t know you can actually deny something.
Eventually, I would fail at those tasks and tell myself that I’m not enough and that I’m not worthy of the raise or asking more. You see, how low self-worth is directly affecting the other parts of our lives. Thus, be true to yourself and accept that you don’t have to excel in everything.
5. Reframe your limiting beliefs
Our limiting beliefs are nothing but the stories we tell ourselves that refrain us from living our best life. These can be from our childhood or any other life event. We make ourselves believe in something so untrue that it limits us from being our grandest self. Dig deep and ask yourself; what are some of the limiting beliefs am I holding that’s making me question my worth? What happened in the past that made me believe I am not worthy?
When you sit in peace and journal your thoughts, you will find that your reality is created by your thoughts and that you have the power to choose different thoughts.
6. Do more things that light you up
Recognize your strengths and do more things that bring in the energy. When I started working on things that brought joy and filled me with peace, I realized how gifted I felt working. This raised my self-esteem and made me felt worthy of dreaming and achieving great success.
It really feels so mundane working on things that don’t bring joy; however I know, life happens at times and we’re bound to do things that we don’t wish otherwise. In such a situation, try having few minutes throughout your day just for the things that you truly enjoy doing, that lits up the spark within.
7. Practice self-forgiveness
Allow yourself to do mistakes and to fail. It’s so human of you to try and fail but we tend to become so hard on ourselves that the idea of failure seems super scary and makes us doubt our worth. Instead, try forgiving yourself and show some compassion. You’re trying your best and everyone fails.
Stop telling yourself the stories of being perfect. You’re just beating yourself up here. Write yourself a letter of forgiveness and let go of all the baggage that you’ve been holding onto.
Overcoming low self-worth – conclusion
You really don’t need any external validation for yourself. You’re enough, you’re capable and you’re so worthy of having it all. Don’t let your mind play games with you for you hold the power to control your mind. In the end, whenever you find yourself doubting your worth, just sit back and ponder; ‘ What on earth made you think so?’
Keep asking yourself this question until you find that underlying belief or the root cause of your thoughts. I hope, this piece helped you in realizing how truly you matter. Do let me know your feelings in the comments below.