How to stop being hard on yourself

Life is hard and at times it gets even harder. We try to get out of the maze but we keep on curling in the spirals of uncertainty. We are surrounded by so many people and their success stories that it really becomes difficult to cope up with our own life and we start imagining ourselves as a failure. I had been in your shoes and I know exactly how it feels to be there waiting for the chance, one single click that sets life, that one opportunity that we desperately want to knock our doors and when it doesn’t happen, we lose our patience and think ourselves as a loser, someone who isn’t meant for reaching heights or dreaming incredible life, a life of their own dreams, their own terms. Its high time that we need to realize and stop being hard on self.

In such conditions, we often start blaming ourselves for not being enough and are ready to do anything that may validate our worth and help us to prove our existence as something valuable. We crush our inner child’s desire and dreams just to put an end to the mouthfuls mocking at us. We become so hard on ourselves that only an immediate success would result in a peaceful state of mind.

However, we need to know that this impatience is never going to work. When I feel such emotions, I tell my heart to slow down, to be easy on myself, to know my worth and stop settling for anything less than that. I expect so much from my being that at the end I am left miserable when my expectations aren’t met and I know this happens with most of us because of which I wrote this blog to help you all in refraining from being hard on yourself.

Here are the things I keep in mind when I get hard on myself:

  1. I am enough

It takes self-discipline to know your worth. You need to understand that your existence is miraculous and that you are more than anything that makes you feel so low. Tell yourself that you will figure it out sooner or later and that this phase of life doesn’t define you. You are more than ENOUGH and you deserve peace.

Here are the beautiful poems on Self-love.

  1. Good things take time

My little soul is so impatient that it always wanted everything to happen at once. I am still learning to be patient and accept the things at its time. Pushing myself on the edge isn’t going to result in something victorious, however, it will surely harm my mental health.

  1. Hope is a good thing

Nothing great in this world ever happened without clinging to that little ray of hope. Know that things are difficult, that it will take a hell a lot amount of time to get where you want to be but you will eventually get there. Hard work pays off always and hope sails through every storm.

  1. Talk to yourself

This exercise has really helped me a lot to stop being harsh on myself. Whenever I sense the feeling of being hard and rude on myself, I go in front of the mirror and talk to myself about everything that is bothering me. No, I don’t get any solution to my existing problem but this helps me to calm down, to slow down and trust the flow.

  1. Journaling

I cannot deny the fact that journaling has been my go on the tool for calming anxiety and even when I feel lost and miserable, I turn to my journal and ask for the answers. I write down my problems and the ways I think they could be probably solved. I focus on my inner child and pamper it as an apology for being so harsh.

Here is a detailed post on how journaling helped me reduce my anxiety.

  1. Trust the flow

Sometimes, nothing works and I mean it like literally there is no way out there to reach the point where we always dreamt of and the very sense of that annoys and irritates us. As a result, we start blaming ourselves for not doing that course or not being worthy enough to reach there which isn’t the solution to getting there. We need to slow down at times and trust the flow. It will eventually happen, maybe this isn’t your time but that doesn’t mean you will never get there.

  1. Stop comparing your journey

We are often so desperate that we forget the difference between starting out and being an expert at it. We start comparing our journey with someone who is at the top without even knowing how their path would have appeared, what struggles they would have faced and what it would have taken them to reach to the point they are. Regardless of this, we keep pushing ourselves to struggle, hustle and degrade our worth. Do not compare your start with their middle.


I keep pushing myself to be better and better at everything I do, I believed that perfection is the only way out to be someone and reach somewhere but sadly or luckily, it isn’t. Progress is the key and it doesn’t matter how fast you are moving until you keep moving.

Take a walk with yourself and sought out things like couples do in any romantic relationship. Make yourself aware that you will always be there with yourself even when this whole world stands against, even when no one believes, even when no one understands.

You are worthy, you are special. Do not be so hard on yourself for life is short and is meant to be lived peacefully with oneself.

I would love to hear your views regarding this in the comments. Tell me how you help yourself out when you are hard on yourself. It would be my pleasure to know how you heal your inner child and connect with it.

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About Me
I’m Sonia from Gujarat, India – an author, mental health advocate, blogger and a lifelong dreamer. – the writer of this blog and an author of the poetry book ‘Silent Defiance’. Read More

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